Jul 6, 2018
So many times as parents we get
caught in our ego about what level my kid should be or how good
they are, what team they're on, and 'if they're on this team, it
must mean I'm a good parent.' It has nothing to do with your
parenting skills!
-Kirsten Jones
In this episode of the podcast, I'm talking with Kirsten Jones, co-host (with Susie Walton) of the #RaisingAthletes Podcast. Kirsten is a former college and professional volleyball player. In addition to providing life coaching to athletes and parents, Kirsten is also raising three athletes of her own, including a son who plans to play college basketball.
We talk about some of the biggest challenges for parents raising athletes including parental expectations based on early athletic achievements, keeping sports in perspective, intrinsic motivation, the "sweet spot" for sports participation, and what to do when your kid wants to quit their sport.
Quotes from Kirsten
"If your kid gets chosen for the
'B' team and they're ten, ask them some good questions. A lot of
times, we decide whether that means success or failure for
them...Parents project out their kid's whole life plan based on
whether they made the 'A' team at ten!"
"The self-talk that we're doing is so powerful."
"We sometimes as parents have decided for them who we want them to become. And then things start not aligning. Or they don't make the team."
"Really it's not about sports. It's about how we show up in life."
"It's really about helping them create the life of their dreams."
"That's how she got to be so good, because she had zero ego about asking for help."
"So many times as parents we get caught in our ego about what level my kid should be or how good they are, what team they're on, and 'if they're on this team, it must mean I'm a good parent.' It has nothing to do with your parenting skills!"
"We all need a break. You need to go hard. Your sleeping and your recovery are as important, if not more important, than when you're in work mode."
"I think 80% of the game is the mental part."
"Be creative. Be curious."
Here's the video Kirsten talked about, of the little girl attempting to jump on the stool and persevering despite falls and setbacks:
Resources/Related
Jessica Lahey's Website (mentioned in this episode)
Ep. 43: The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey
Is Your Child's Sport Their Passion or Yours?